


can anybody find me somebody to love?

by IndisputablyTrashy (blackbirbs)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Bartender!Dave, Basically Rose playing matchmaker for John and Dave, First Meetings, Fluff, Jade's in it too bc she thinks its hilarious, John and Dave are just huge dorks about it, M/M, gay bars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 00:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10605786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirbs/pseuds/IndisputablyTrashy
Summary: The next thing that happens is something that John surely willregret.Because what happens next is that he suddenly blurts out, "I dunno, areyouon the menu?" at the fucking guy.Everything around John just literally freezes as his blood runs cold when he realizes what he just said.'God, I haven't even had a drink and yet now I'm already talking nonsense.'[Or: Where John just got out from a break-up and Dave is a bartender in a gay bar who just so happens to be right around the corner.]





	

**Author's Note:**

> And so instead of working on Fix You, I wrote this instead... Right, of course, since I'm such a wonderful author and all AHAHAHAHA. In the meantime, here's some JohnDave. Bc admittedly, I missed writing these two. The title of the fic in from [Queen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quMlRhlVR3I) (apparently, I'm Ella Enchanted trash now lmao asdfghjkl). I hope you all enjoy!! :DD

"I can't believe this is your method of cheering me up." John deadpans, unamused, as he follows his two friends when they enter the almost non-descriptive black doors of the bar that they suggested on going to for the rest of the night.

Not that there's anything wrong with going out for drinks, in John's opinion. In fact, he'd enjoy a drink or two, given how things currently are with his fucking love life. It just so happens that they brought him into a fucking _gay_ bar out of all things.

He steps inside the fine establishment, and honestly, he isn't surprised one bit of the interior design. Mostly, it looks like an ordinary bar, only that, yes, there are several people of the same sex doing not-so-hella-innocent things out in public.

Jegus fucking christ. John would rather be back in his small, cozy apartment and wallow in his self-pity, rather than be out in the open with so many people.

Meanwhile, one of his companions, Rose Lalonde, merely gives him a side away glance as he basks in his sulking. "Don't be such huge child, John," she assures. "This is the perfect way to lift up your spirits after what had just occurred regarding your relationship with Vriska."

Sometimes, John swears that Rose can never cease to amaze him at how blunt she could be with a shit ton of things. Things like - oh, wait, he knows, his _love life._

"I told you for a million times, I've already moved on from her," John grumbles, rolling your eyes in irritation.

In reply, Jade, another one of John's evil friends who thought it'd be nice to bring him into a gay bar, cackles in delight. Her laughter rings throughout the entire bar despite the loud beating of the bass being played. "If you really were moved on from Vriska, you wouldn't be so grumpy right now. Seriously, don't you dare turn into Karkat any minute now."

"Well, _I'm sorry,_ maybe I'm just grumpy because my two best friends took me into some random-ass gay bar against the sheer force of my will. Like - come on, seriously, guys, a fucking gay bar?"

"I've never pegged you to be such a kind of a person, John. Now, what's wrong with being in a gay bar?" asks Rose, feigning innocence at him, but John can see all too well that her purple eyes are brimming with amusement.

Right, _she_ was the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place. And knowing Jade, she'd very much like to see you embarrassed as fuck, so she might as well have agreed within a heartbeat when Rose told her about the place.

Which leads John to his current predicament, which, as of now, is dealing with this for the rest of the night.

"Also," Jade decides to chimes in. "we're sure you'd like to take a break when it comes to asking out females, since - well, you know."

Of course, this is exactly the thing that they'd think off with having to just break things up with Vriska. "I never should have told you guys about my bisexuality."

Both girls laugh out loud yet again and what John could only do is to continue on with his sulking. He has deemed it as the most proper way of spending his time while he's here. In spite of what these two tell him, he's positive that he doesn't want to see anyone again so soon.

"Come on, John, all Rose and I wanted was to cheer you up. Hell, you've barely even smiled after the break-up. Where's that huge dorky smile that I've always known? We want you to have a good time tonight, at least tell me that you're planning on buying a drink or two." Jade says with a small pout.

John scoffs at her. "Fine, I might be needing a drink or ten. As long as you're paying."

"Don't worry, I have that covered," Rose assures as all three of them reaches the counter. John sees the blonde's dark violet-colored lips play its way into a sly smirk. "We might get a discount, it happens that I know a bartender in here."

That notion catches John off guard. He then raises an eyebrow of surprise, meanwhile Jade only gapes at her, seems that the fellow brunette also didn't know that fact. "Woah, Rose, really?" the green-eyed girl says in astonishment somehow. "How come you never told us?"

Rose shrugs at the question. "Let's just say that this particular friend likes to keep things with other people as private as possible. Let's just say I'm his only friend, for that matter. And I think it's time that he manages to find someone -"

"Well, look at what the tide's washed in." a new voice interrupts. It looks like it belongs to man, given how deep and smooth it sounded. John notices that he's got a slight twinge of what seems to be a Texan accent too. "My, my, if it isn't for Rose Lalonde."

John turns his head to the man who had just talked and finds his breath hitches at the sight of him. And _shit_ , what a lovely sight it is.

Fucking hell, this person is definitely John's type when it comes to picking up people. Blonde, taller than him (although not overtly so), lithe and lean, and with a slight bad-boy kind of demeanor (he's got several piercings in his eyebrow and left ear), not to mention that angular face and that playful, lazy smirk to die for.

(What sort of confuses him, however, is the pair of dark aviator shades that's currently perched on his freckled nose. Seriously, who even wears shades indoors, at _night_.)

Other than that, the guy looks remarkably dashing. But jegus, he can't afford to fall for another Vriska again. He can't afford to have another situation just like the one where he found out that she's been cheating on him with some law student named Terezi for almost four months without him even knowing.

John's not as stupid and oblivious as one might assume he'd be, it won't take long for one to put two and two together and know why Rose chose _this_ particular bar for this night. And he very much thinks that he's going to murder said friend after this.

With that, John gives Rose a pointed look that only says, _'if you truly think that you'd hook me up with someone so soon, you are no true friend of mine.'_

Because that would be the last thing that he needs right now.

Rose chooses to ignore his scrutiny and instead decides to get friendly with the bartender that just had greeted them, or rather her only. "Magnificent evening, isn't it,?"

"You got that right, Lalonde." his smirk widens, and goodness gracious, John swears his stomach lurches at such a marvelous sight. Then, the blond continues, "I see that you brought friends?"

As if on cue, Jade already holds out her multi-colored nail-polished hands and practically beams at him. "Hi! My name is Jade, I'm a botany student, I study at the same university as Rose."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." the guy replies before his takes Jade's hand and raises it up to meet his lips. Jade giggles at the gesture but she politely replies that she already has a hot-headed boyfriend named Karkat.

The guy merely gives out a nonchalant shrug. "It wouldn't kill anyone if I try to be gentlemanly 'round a fine lady, right? Now," he then turns to look at you, before smirking again. "Who might you be?"

John decides to take the grumpy demeanor down a notch and gives the bartender a small grin. Then he holds out his own hand at him. "John, it's nice to meet you, I study bio and yeah, like Jade, I study at the same uni as Rose. How should I call you, mister bartender?"

"Calling me 'Strider' would be fine," he says coolly, nodding as if in approval, then he asks. "So, what can I get you, fine ladies and gentleman?"

Rose immediately goes for some rich champagne while Jade orders for some exotic, tropic, fruit cocktail. When he turns to John to ask his for his order, his breath hitches and he finds out that his throat is suddenly dry. Christ, this man is just too damn hot for his own good.

The next thing that happens is something that John surely will _regret._

Because what happens next is that he suddenly blurts out, "I dunno, are _you_ on the menu?" at the fucking guy.

Everything around John just literally freezes as his blood runs cold when he realizes what he just said. _'God, I haven't even had a drink and yet now I'm already talking nonsense.'_

Then three things happen all at once:

One, Rose's expression turns from calm and relaxed to exactly like an evil mastermind who had just successfully trapped someone in their maze.

Two, Jade instantly bangs her hands on the counter-top and almost shouts 'I knew this would work, Karkat owes me fifteen bucks!' 

And three, it seems that all of Strider's cool-kid demeanor had disappeared for a moment and instead is replaced with honest surprise and somehow, confusion. Then John notices the faint tint of pink that reaches his face, or maybe it's just because of the lighting?

No matter, within mere seconds, the guy's expression suddenly turns smug all over again. "I'm flattered. But if you're looking for someone to share a hook up with for this night, you're looking at the wrong person. I'd rather not do it with people I hardly know. If you'll excuse me, I'll go make your drinks now."

After that, he strides (it only makes his given name suit him more) away from them. Now while after, Jade bursts out laughing, Rose joins in with her own chuckles, while John merely sinks his head into the counter with a huge groan. He then shoots a glare at both of them.

"Damn you, Rose, for trying to set me up with this. Damn you, Jade, for agreeing with this evil person. Damn _me_ for actually making a fool out of myself!"

Once Jade stops laughing, she gives him a reassuring pat on the pat. "There, there, I'm sure everything's going to be fine. There's still plenty of fish in the sea, or rather, in this bar."

"I knew I should never have agreed to this," John mumbles under his breath.

Then he hears Rose pipe up beside him. "Don't fret, my dearest friend, I wouldn't have set you up with D - Strider if I hadn't known that it would work."

"But it didn't!" he exclaims, flailing out his arms in dismay. "You know too damn well that he's going to be my type, but you didn't think that maybe _he_ wouldn't like _me._ "

John catches Rose frowning. "I know him too, John, how about you trust me when I say that - "

Whatever Rose is saying, it is cut off with Strider returning from whatever he went to with a round tray that had three different kinds of drinks in his palm. He then stops in front of John and his peers again, his smirk never leaving his face.

He places the respective drinks that Rose and Jade had ordered in front of them, then shoves the last glass in front of John. He merely gapes at him. "But I didn't order anything."

"I know, and although I can't really provide your original request, I manage to think of the next best thing. Let's say that this drink is a personal mix of my own that I thought of just now. I hope you like it, and it's fine if you don't, it's on the house anyway."

And John couldn't help but notice that once he finishes that last sentence, the guy just kinda sorta blushes again as if he's embarrassed because of his impromptu drink that he made for _John._

John feels completely out of his depth, with slightly shaking hands, he then chooses to bring the glass to his lips and taste the drink.

His eyes widen as he tastes the flavor and decides to drink some more. After that, he places down the glass and gives Strider a huge grin. "It's really good," he almost chokes.

John could practically feel Rose and Jade grinning like hell beside him.

But before he could even say anything to the two girls, the cute, blond bartender leans against the counter, towards him all of a sudden. He then brings up his lips near John's right ear and John shivers as he hears him whisper, "Listen, I really like you. But I highly suggest we take things slow."

Then he moves back to his former position and gives him a small, genuine grin, which is _definitely_ better than that cocky smirk of his. "So," he continues. "Does that sound good to you?"

John finds himself smiling back. "Fuck yeah."

After that, the rest of the night goes fairly well. Although Strider sometimes comes and goes because he has other customers to deal with, he still somehow manages to talk to all three of them, especially John. The bartender makes John some more of that drink he first got him.

Their small group exits the bar with fairly huge grins on their faces, since they had a good time in the bar and all. John promises to Strider to come back and visit again as soon as possible, because he really, _really_ wants to get to know him more.

They all go home to their respective apartments, Rose parting from him and Jade since she currently lives with her girlfriend, Kanaya. It's not until when they've reached his and Jade's that he finally sees the note in one of his jean pockets.

"What's that?" Jade asks thoughtfully.

"I dunno, to be honest, I only noticed it now," John replies as he reads the note. Maybe the cute bartender slipped it in his pocket when we whispered his proposition to him?

Hey.

So maybe you're actually a pretty cool guy, since Rose is your friend and all. I can't say that I have a lot of close friends myself. I don't usually socialize a lot and that I hardly approach people on my own, but let's just say that you got me intrigued.

Btw, Strider's my surname. The real name's Dave.  
Call me?

Then he sees a phone number written at the end, and John couldn't help but feel fucking giddy about it. He doesn't even realize that his grinning like an idiot when Jade shakes her head fondly and mutters something besides him. "Now there's that huge dorky smile that I've always known."

And John thinks, all things considered, he really did enjoy this night and begrudgingly accepts the fact that the method his friends thought to cheer him up, _did_ cheered him up.


End file.
